Blink
by jelly-belly-babe
Summary: In a moment everything can change. PJo
1. A Moment In Time

BLINK

By Bec

DISCLAIMER: Poem/Lyrics in order: Catherine, VIC and Anita Spring.

CHAPTER ONE – JUST A MOMENT IN TIME

The windscreen wipers worked furiously as they cleared the cold, icy raindrops from the car, but as Jo slumped in the front seat no-one could wipe away her tears.

Her fingers clutched the steering wheel as she pressed hard on the accelerator and as the wheels turned, scraping the familiar gravel of the road, her mind churned similarly over the same memory again and again and for a moment time stood still.

"_PJ I can't play second fiddle to a dead woman!_"

And as she had uttered those words she thought she could see his heart in his eyes, breaking. She thought his was in parallel with hers – but it wasn't. Because as she had left, her heart shattered into a million pieces he hadn't come after her. She had gotten into her car and driven and driven and driven. Away from her home, away from Mt Thomas and away from the man she loved. Love was like an alcohol – it felt so good whilst you were riding the high but once you crashed and burned the next morning it left you thinking if it was really worth it. Jo thought of the letter she'd scribbled and left on the bedside table for PJ to find.

_Peej, _it read.

_A million words wouldn't bring you back,_

_I know because I've tried,_

_Neither would a million tears,_

_I know because I've cried,_

_They say that memories are golden,_

_Maybe this is true_

_I never wanted memories,_

_I only wanted you,_

_My heart still aches in sadness,_

_And secret tears still flow,_

_What its meant to lose you,_

_No-one will ever know._

_I'm so sorry Peej but this is something we have to do. We both have things to learn and new challenges to face and I feel that I owe it to you and to myself to face the truth. I can't let you keep living a lie and I have to stop believing in one – I have to stop believing that you love me and only me because that will never be true. I know as long as you live Maggie will always be the one holding your heart and I can't do anything to change that... I love you more than you can imagine, and as long as the clock ticks my heart will still be with you – but I've learnt that there are some scars even the clock can never mend._

_Always, Jo_

His fingers shaking he felt the letter flutter from his hands but he didn't register the movement. His head was spinning as he blinked almost unable to believe what had just happened. He dropped to his knees and re-read the words over and over – but as much as they hurt he couldn't let them go – he couldn't deny what she had said – because she was right. Maggie always had been the one holding his heart – that was until he had come home that evening. Come home and seen his soul mate, his lover in tears – seen her walk out on him, read the note she had left him. Until then he had never let go of the one he had loved – until he realized he had lost the one that he was _in_ love with. Crumpling the letter in his palm he stood at the window and looked out and for a moment willed time to stand still as his thoughts drifted in the breeze.

Don't blink,

We're fine,

I'm here

You're mine,

Stay a little longer,

Don't breathe,

Don't run,

I'm here,

You're mine,

Stay a little longer.

_Joey, just wait...please, I'm coming. _

In a heartbeat she closed her eyes and imagined his face standing so vividly in her mind that she could hear his voice wafting through her ears. _I love you Jo. _As she reopened them the voice started to fade and as much as she tried she couldn't get it back. Tears brimming in her eyes, the moment and passed she looked up – but it was a moment too late. The tires screeching wretchedly, she slammed on the breaks but it was no use. It swerved and swerved the steering wheel jerking from side to side before losing all control. She heard the smash and saw the light – for one moment the intense, fiery beam burned its way into her mind – before she was enveloped, surrounded in darkness and it all faded into black.


	2. Meant To Be

**BLINK**

By Bec

**DISCLAIMER:** Poem/Lyrics in order: Catherine, VIC and Anita Spring. I don't have any affiliation to Southern Star, Blue Heelers or Ch7

**A/N:** Thanks to X-Manda Panda-X, Jane W, Orlando Crazy, Kylie and Elle for the reviews! Here is the last part, hope you enjoy it!

**CHAPTER TWO – MEANT TO BE**

PJ ran out to the car feeling like his heart had been pulled to pieces. He gripped the wheel as he tried to gain some sort of control over his thoughts. They whirled furiously in his head – all familiar but none enough to recognize.

Hours earlier, his whole life had been mapped out before him. He'd had a great job in a great town with great friends and he was about to be married to a wonderful woman. Joanna Parrish, a woman, who in his eyes was so perfect, it couldn't be put into words. Smart, fun-loving, intuitive, loyal, loving, generous – perfect. He hadn't asked her yet, but he had been toying with the idea for months – PJ had just been waiting for the perfect time to pop the question. And the time had come that morning – the sun had been shining and her face shone with radiance, and he knew it was the time.

Then at what should have been one of the most magical days of his life his world had been turned upside down. Shattered. And it was all his fault. She had finally twisted the knife when she left. Picked up and left….not that he could blame her. Maggie had been on his mind a lot, an awful lot and he wasn't being fair to Jo at all. PJ knew he deserved it, but just when he thought he'd scraped rock bottom the remains of his shattered world splintered with the ring of a telephone.

"_Hello?"_

"_May I please speak to Patrick Hasham?"_

"_Yes – this is he."_

"_Hi, this is Holly from Mt Thomas hospital. I'm afraid that Joanna Parrish has been taken to hospital. She was involved in a high speed MVA. She has you listed as her next of kin so it would be great if you could come down to the hospital as soon as possible."_

"…_All right._"

"_Fantastic, we'll see you soon."_

As he hung up the phone PJ immediately cursed himself. His head was still spinning but already he was cursing himself for being so stupid. There were so many things he should have asked.

'_Where is she?' 'How did it happen?' 'How bad is it?' 'Is she expected to recover?'_

He was a detective. It should have been second nature. But there was no time to ring back now – It was too late. He bit his lip and stared into the dark night contrasted only by the dull light of the street lamp.

'_It may be too late for that, just don't let it be too late for me to tell Jo how much I love her.' _

PJ stared around the stark white room. The silence was deafening, ironic as it was, only lifted by the steady beeps of hope from the machines, telling him that Jo was still alive. How many times had he been in a room like this, waiting for a suspect or a witness or a criminal to regain consciousness? Countless was the answer, but never had he felt like this. Never had he been in a position where he stood to lose everything, absolutely everything that mattered to him with the beep of a machine.

When he'd arrived he'd only absorbed snatches of what the doctor told him.

'…_broken elbow…concussion…possible head injury…unconscious at this stage…' _

The words had intertwined his own thoughts as his head had started to spin. Was this God's way of punishing him for what he'd done? God hadn't he, hadn't they both been punished enough? He sat by her bed as silent tears choked up in his throat, as he gripped her limp hand. Her usually animated, tanned face was pale and her lifeless body looked so small and fragile it made his heart ache.

'_God Joey,' _he begged silently. _'Please just give me a chance to make it better.' _

"_Baby…please be okay…Jo, I love you…"_

A sound, a voice wafted airily in her ears, like a mantra floating in and in, over and over. Jo tried to open her eyelids, but they were so heavy…so was her body, it felt like she was pinned back. She struggled to open her eyes and when she finally did, they whirled for a moment with black sun spots before white, all white came into vision. This wasn't her room. She glanced left as she tried to piece together her surroundings and her breath caught in her throat as she saw him – _him _– kneeling by her bed – talking to her.

It wasn't a dream…it was his voice. God how she loved that voice. She loved it when he whispered compliments in her ear, playfully teased her, told her he loved –

She gasped out loud as she suddenly realized what had happened. In a flash everything came rushing back. The proposal…the conversation in the flat…the fight…the letter…the car…

"Jo!"

PJ's brown, vulnerable eyes filled with unshed tears as he looked up at her.

"Thank god-"

He tried to grab her but she managed to dodge him.

She couldn't be here. She couldn't be here with him. Not after all that had happened. Not after what he'd done…what she'd done.

Unsteadily she pushed back the covers but as she stood her knees buckled beneath her as she stumbled grabbing the bed for support.

"Jo what are you doing, don't be ridiculous!"

His firm if not on edge, but caring voice penetrated her mind as she succumbed to his strong arms lifting her back onto the bed, carefully placing her head on the pillow.

"I can't be here." She croaked, her voice choking with tears.

"Not after everything."

"Jo…"

"Don't." She turned away, closing her eyes as tears slipped down her face.

"It hurts too much. It hurt so much driving away from you. It hurt so much that you didn't follow. It hurts so much that you don't love me like I love you."

"But I do. Jo, listen to me…I love you. I loved you this morning when I asked you to marry me and bought you that ring and I love you so much now…Maggie was my first love. I know that and I admit it. But you're my only love now. She was the past…and you're my future."

Jo wanted so much to believe him. She wanted so much to believe that he loved her, but how many times had he said it before…did her really love her like that?

"I want to believe you but…"

"Then do. Jo, I know you're afraid of being burnt, but I'm asking you to trust me. Do you trust me?"

She nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. She loved him with all her heart….and with love came trust. And she could honestly say that she would trust her life with him.

"I do."

"Then there's something I need to do."

He pulled the ring from his pocket. When she'd left, he'd tucked the ring in his pocket, a bittersweet reminder of what he had lost. Everytime he touched it, the memory of what had happened haunted him, but he had also felt hope. A hope that maybe he would get the chance to give it to her again – the right way this time.

He tipped her chin towards him and looked straight into her tear-filled eyes.

"Jo, the moment I met you I knew you were the one for me and I love you with all my heart. But there is a piece missing in my heart…and that piece is you. Joanna Parrish…will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

She felt her tears flow freely now as a tearful smile broke out on her face.

"Yes! Yes I will."

And in that simple exchange of words, in the blink of an eye everything was okay again. Everything was perfect. Jo tried to savour the moment but then realized she didn't have to. Because in the arms of the man she loved she finally realized that a blink could last a lifetime.


End file.
